if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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