What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
