Dude my mom stole all your condoms
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
This baby is an asshole
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Floor bacon is actually really good
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
