Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
