that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
