Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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