so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
