So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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