I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
