it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
