honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize