I'm going to jail i love you
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
