No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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