so explain again why im purple
no
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
