I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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