Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
