**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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