Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
