Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
