Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize