Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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