i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
