My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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