Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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