You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
