he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize