i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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