i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
