And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
