you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
