Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
