Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
