My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
