at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize