yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
