Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
