Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
