How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
time to smoke my breakfast
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
