I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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