If i come over, it means nothing
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
