Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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