Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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