I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
