New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize
