Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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