Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
