he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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