What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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