Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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