Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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