my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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