she looked like the before picture.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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