I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Vodka?
Forever.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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