He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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