im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
well you can't waste a boner
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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