I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize