Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
a search helicopter?!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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