It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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