my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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