rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
