Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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