the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
