You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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