i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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