O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
