what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
