why didn't you poke me back
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
