he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
