The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
