what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
