I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
