put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
zippers are such a cool invention
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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