i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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