I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
