I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Porn is love you can see.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
