I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
