I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
