Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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