I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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