He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize