You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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