Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
