i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
